“In prison, you can watch TV and play games. At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games. In prison, you get your own toilet. At work, you have to share a toilet.”
“Sir, I’m timed on each call. I have to resolve issues in a timely—” William tried interrupting again, but the caller kept talking over him. Frustrated, he grabbed a yellow, sharpened pencil from his desk drawer and began to beat down on his penitentiary green work desk.
He starts to fiddle with the pink eraser until it finally yields and brakes, only to bounce off, hit his dark red camp shirt, and disappear under his desk. He pushes his chair back and crawls onto the filthy, snack-sprinkled carpet. A battleground littered with tortilla chips, cheese puffs, aged popcorn, and banana peels. The knee areas of his tech pocket cargo pants are soiled while his troubled caller drones on.
“In prison, you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside, wanting to get out. At work, you spend most of your time wanting to get out so you can go inside of Bars. In prison, there are Officers who are often sadistic. At work, they’re called Managers.”
The line cuts off abruptly. A nasty surprise startles William while he’s on all fours. On the other side of his chair’s wheels, he sees a pair of flat, scuffed brown business shoes. The kind worn by corporate ladder climbers dead set on smashing the glass ceiling. After slamming the top of his head on the underside of his desk, his next reaction is to groan a very loud, “Owwww!”
“Butler! What are you doing goofing off with the callers? I was monitoring that phone call. Get back to work, or I’m writing you up again,” Will’s supervisor, Ashley Trai (aka the Dragon Lady), barked and scowled at him. Today, like most days, she’s wearing a very conservative khaki skirt that reached all the way down from her Bulimic waist to her scaly ankles. Her business shirt was the same beige color and resembled something you’d see on a Fox News church special.”
Buy: Hell Desk! How May I Help You? by Jay Zoracle on Amazon today.


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